For Mom

So this will be my first Mothers Day without my mom and I’m trying to figure out how I feel about it.

I know that sometimes when I look through catalogs I will spot something I think she would like and there is a moment before I realize that I can no longer buy her things.

I know that I will hear a story about a TV show she likes and there is a moment when I am ready to call and tell her about it before I realize she isn’t there to call.

I know that sometime I will be out running errands near where she lives and there is a moment where I think I should swing by to see if she is hungry before I realize there will be no more lunch dates.

I know that sometime while making one of my mom’s recipes I will forget how much of something to add and I will reach for the phone before I realize that I should have written lots of things down when I could have.

I know that when my children reach milestones, or holidays come and go, or others post family photos I feel something is missing and I know it’s her presence.

So when Mother’s Day arrived this year and I didn’t feel a wave of sadness and grief, I was feeling confused and a little guilty. Then, I thought about it and I realized that I feel ripples of that sadness every day whether it’s this Sunday or last Tuesday. Today is just another day without her and I miss her all over again. 

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8 responses to “For Mom

  1. Just read this, beautiful. I’m blessed to still have my mom. And hope to for many years as there will be such a void.

  2. I lost my mother 4 years ago and the words in this post are still as relevant to me today.
    As much as you miss your mom now, it implies you had a good relationship with her and that is definitely something to be treasured.

  3. So sorry for your loss. As you say, it’s all the small moments of day to day life, not one particular day or date. It must be a huge wrench losing your mother, and I dread the day it happens to me. xx

  4. I’m so sorry for your loss of the small moments and the big ones. I hope that on Mother’s Day, you had your children close and they made you feel as special as you deserve to feel.

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