If We Were Having Coffee….11/8/15


If we were having coffee…I would welcome you in and pour you a nice strong cup  of gourmet roast or offer perhaps some tea? Hot chocolate? Maybe just ice water? Then we could have one of Hubby’s yummy chocolate chip muffins. Unless they are gone already?! The newspaper weather report for this Autumn Sunday calls for “abundant sunshine and blue skies” followed by a “star filled night”! Couldn’t ask for much better than that, huh?

I would ask if you would like to take home some of the left over Halloween candy that keep calling to me from the pantry.  If not, I may have to find a way to make it less accessible. Apparently the very back of the top most shelf, behind the Tupperware cake dish, sealed in a zip-lock bag, underneath the bag of flour, is still too accessible for my own good.😊

If we were having coffee…I would ask about your week? Has it been fun? Productive? I hope there were more positives than negatives. Some weeks that’s all you can ask for! We’ve had a rainy week weather wise but it has still been good.

I would tell you all about the college visit we made with Miss Dee on Thursday. Since we all had the day off we decided to drive up state to The College of New Jersey and take a campus tour. All the schools in the state were closed, so it was quite crowded. I went to a local county college, while working and living at home so I know nothing about “college life”. Hubby lived in a campus apartment his last two years so he was better informed and knew more about what we were going to see.

The campus itself is very nice. The buildings, while mostly built in the 1980s, were designed to look vintage, with lots of red brick and white columns. They offer an abundance of educational opportunities along with many extracurricular clubs and entertainment. We listened to all they had to offer and Miss Dee talked to an admissions officer so she could ask some questions she had then we had lunch and headed home. I could tell in the car what she was thinking and I knew what the sticking point of all this “going away to college” adventure was going to be. How do I know? Because she is a lot like me and I know what my biggest pet peeve would be.

Miss Dee and I both have very introverted personalities. Anyone who has been here before might already know that about me, and one of the things that is very important to us is alone time. Introverts need time away from other people just to recharge their energy and feel centered again (In comparison, extroverts get their energy from being around people). One of the givens about being a college freshman (at least a freshman at any of the colleges Miss Dee can afford) is that you give up a lot of privacy.

She already experienced this some of this last spring when she was a representative for the Girls Career Institute and spent 4 days up at Douglass College in New Brunswick. She stayed In a freshman dorm room with a girl she just met sharing a bathroom and shower room with all the other girls in the wing. When I talked to her on day three she said she was going crazy because she “hadn’t been alone in days!!” I could hear the panic in her voice.

The freshman dorm rooms at TCNJ looked very much like the ones at Douglass except that you had a sink in the room so you could at least brush your teeth and wash your face in semi-privacy. My Hubby and my son and many other people would not see this as a problem. She does.

I have always stood by the idea that education is what you make of it and since we have a very good university within 2 mile of our home, and since it cost twice as much to actually live on campus, I think that Miss Dee may decide to take her brother’s route and commute to school, at least for the first few years. We will see.

If we were having coffee…I would now be looking up at the clock in a panic because it is almost lunch time and I have done nothing constructive! Feel free to hang out and finish your beverage of choice but I think I better run. I hope you have a great week. Don’t forget to visit the other  Weekend Coffee Share posts at Part Time Monster and please don’t forget to grab that bag of Halloween candy on your way out!


16 thoughts on “If We Were Having Coffee….11/8/15

  1. Nice to meet you. I’m an introvert too and I know exactly what you mean. I hope Miss Dee works out where she is going to go. If it is like Australia some university’s have a better school or more likely to get jobs if you go there but you have to weigh it up and survive the experience. Cheers Irene

    • Same here. She can choose to stay home for a year or two then transfer, which might end up being her best bet. Thanks for stopping by!!

  2. Most of us in the Montreal area have no clue about this whole dorm-life thing. I think it’s more of an American-thing; though I do have some friends who went away to university.
    I think I would have been the type to thrive in such a place. Maybe I would not have gotten much studying done, though… 😉
    And I so hear you about the Hallowe’en candy. See… I had people over for dinner that night and my son was supposed to carve the pumpkin as I was elbow-deep in cooking. He drew the face then left to go to my sister’s and help them with their haunted house. No pumpkin on my stoop = no kids ringing my bell = all that bloody candy NOT given away… not good, definitely not good!

    • Oh my!! Well at least your son had a good time! We did get the pumpkin carved and on to the porch but for some reason it began to rot very quickly this year and had to be thrown away already. Usually they last weeks. Thank goodness most of my candy went. Don’t know what I’d do with all yours!

      As far as dorm life, I have friends who have gone away and not gotten much studying done so that rings true everywhere!! Are most colleges or technical schools close to home or do high schools prepare student more for a profession in Canada than than they do here?

  3. I remember those years of college visits quite well! It is hard to think of your kids heading off to college, and to see what an adjustment it will be for your whole family. But I think you are very wise to understand that your daughter’s choice will depend on her unique personality and preferences. There is nothing magic about going away to college, especially if that’s not what she wants. Good for you for supporting her as she makes these tough decisions!

    • Thank you. The hardest part is not offering advice that is not asked for! I have to curb my “mom instincts” sometimes! 😉

  4. Nancy, this is such an insightful post about our college kids and their exoeriences. I never lived in a dorm, nor did my youngest daughter, who is finishing up an internship in Oregon. I was very introverted in college, and married, so my alone time ws riding my bike to school. My oldest daughter, now an engineer, spent 4 years at UCLA surrounded by other girls. I don’t know how she got through it, other than I know her roommates were also scientists and likely locked themselves in their rooms or the library. Hope your daughter gets through it ok! Have a great week!

  5. The college process is difficult on so many levels for the child and their parents. One of my daughter’s went to Douglas and loved it but going away to school is not for everyone. I’m sure she’ll decide what’s best for her.

    • She will, you are right and I’m sure I will struggle with either choice but having her leave will be the hardest. *Sigh*

  6. I had a difficult time with dorm life because I’m an introvert and because I have a certain degree of claustrophobia—a room that was kitchen, bedroom, and living/dining rooms for 2 people was just too miserable. Hope that she makes the right decision for herself, even if that means commuting!

    • She is a pretty sensible kid so I’m sure she will. I am left speechless sometimes at how grown up she has become. How did that happen so fast?!?

  7. I would’ve found dorm life exhausting. I never lived in one during college, but then had to share a room during law school. (The alternative was … not, because having a room to myself was way outside my price range!)

    My longest-lived roommate in law school ended up being like a sister, which was great because–as an introvert–I’d have had a terrible time otherwise.

    Now, the thought of having a roommate makes me feel all skittish. Thank goodness to have been there, done that already!

    • See, you totally get it! Hubby kind of shrugs it off as something quite manageable. I only had a roommate for a short time but I remember that time as being a very anxious time in my life. I know she will have to deal with close quarters eventually just maybe not yet?

      • I hope not yet. Building up to it and finding it with someone who exhausts less energy … there’s merit in it. Or at least getting a little time to adjust to Out before adjusting to exhaustingly close quarters!

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